“Self-esteem is the ability to see yourself as a flawed individual and still hold yourself in high regard.” – Esther Perel You’re reactive. You really are. I know, ‘others’ are way more out-to-lunch when they’re upset and defensive, and they really need to get their act together (and wouldn’t they be significantly less annoying if they did?). But back … Read more

Setting The Standard

BACK IN THE EARLY 2000s, the great Steve Biddulph came to town and led a workshop on parenting that changed the way I look at conflict in relationships.   I wasn’t even there, it was that transformative.     My dear wife had the sense to attend and returned home with, amongst other things, a powerful standard … Read more

Manage Your Intrusive Thoughts & Feelings

Although often ‘life’s a box of chocolates,’ sometimes it most assuredly ain’t. Metaphors of rollercoasters and rough-seas don’t come close to encompassing what some life-events do to us. Devastation comes in many forms, all bad, and while we undergo whatever trial Fate has in store for us and those we love, life, our life, must … Read more

What To Do When ‘Triggered’ At Work

“Sweet are the uses of adversity which like the toad ugly and venomous wears yet a precious jewel in his head.” As You Like It, William Shakespeare If you never feel upset at work—whether you show it or not—then you are either living in a utopia or bored out of your gourd. I doubt either … Read more

How To Say Almost Anything To Anyone

ARGUABLY, OUR BIGGEST OBSTACLE to the continued development of any relationship is our capacity to say difficult stuff. A limit on candidness restrains both truth-telling and creativity, making real change and improvement impossible. Think about it. What are conversations with others for, both at and away from work, if not to discuss what matters most? … Read more

Work-Life-Balance Is A Crock—Do This Instead…

Work/life balance is horseshite. Either work is enlivening and life is productive, or we’re in the trap of working as a means to an end and living as a way of checking out. Look up ‘work-life balance’ online and you’ll get inundated with advice and admonishment. Or don’t. It won’t matter anyway. The whole enterprise … Read more

The One Strategy GUARANTEED to Have You In the Ideal Mindset For Your Next Challenging Situation

If you have something coming up that you want, you need, to be on your A-Game for—how do you make it for sure that you will be? You can be as physically prepared as is humanly possible—and you should be—but you know there’s that X-factor that will determine more than anything else you do to … Read more